“VOYEUR OF MYSELF” – abstract

The key word is MAKING SIGHT OF ONESELF.
This means unexpectedly seeing, perceiving all of a sudden, and abruptly catching sight of oneself. It is what sometimes happens when you pass by a shop window, where one’s image is reflected, or in the bathroom, when we notice ourselves in the mirror with the corner of our eyes. The same mirror where every morning, while we wash, we look into, without really seeing ourselves.
Hence a research has begun, whether recognizing or not, identifying oneself with one’s image or not, a quest about the importance we give to our image, referring it to the esteem we always need.
I needed some courage and care because to perceive oneself, one needs tricks, one has to take oneself by surprise and attempt to freeze a moment, a state of being, without escaping.
Liking, disliking myself; what I like, what I don’t like, in a continuous rotation of claim and refusal.

“When I watch the image I have of myself, the imperious need that each of my characters could show a flattering side of myself, the fear of other people’s judgment, the “inner consideration” which I could not refrain from, all of this shows my dependence from everything which is surrounding myself, which is diverting my focus towards the shallow waters where it remains stuck
H. Thomasson “A fight for the present”

My face is the central subject of this exploration, but later the perception wisely moves to the rest of my body; and going even forward it stretches to what is hiding behind. “The eyes are the mirror of one’s soul”. This isn’t always true.
The mirror, or better the mirrors change little by little from casual enemies into journey fellows; they turn into something useful to face myself and others. I am a pitiless implement that sometimes can freeze and sometimes make things moving.
The very many states of being, we perceive, are, on the other side, mirrors of our multifaceted “I”. The many identities, which we are fractioned in. All of them are real and relentlessly torn between positive and negative. We live a life of struggle to repress some of them e favour other ones, while believing to be the one and only.
With this project I would like to narrate about this path towards identification. I will tell, and mainly show my attempts of detachment, when I made an effort to liberate my “monsters” or, as we normally know them, the wild impulse normally held down by social control. Also I had to understand which would be my target after this work of observation and realization.
I will share my exploration with the audience, multiplying the faces, the angles and the perspectives of their observation.
I who I watch myself and my image, reflecting from many directions, my reflection projected … the others watching me from different angles and places, I watching them while they’re watching me…
Then there could be someone watching someone else, who is actually just at the very moment realizing they’re watching themselves. The very process I’m trying to accomplish.
To carry out my project I want to multiply the slots where the audience can peep from. They can openly watch or surreptitiously look into, acting as voyeurs, who sometimes show themselves and sometimes stay in the shadow. I will watch them watching me: a voyeur of others and myself.